Once upon a time, there was a man named, Christian. He worked at a restaurant during the day, and a bar during the night. That’s where I met him; the bar.

He was a handsome man. I thought in my head, if I was interested in men, he would be someone I’d see myself being with. Every night, we would mildly flirt across the dance floor. When I’d dance, I’d poke his waist. Or when we’d talk, I’d praise his looks. Things like that. Until one night, we went a little further.

It was about a month since my last love interest. I was drinking away my sorrows of a different lover, and feeling sorry for myself. Christian came in later with sushi before his shift. I sat next to him while he was eating.

We chatted for a bit and he fed me a bite or two. Then all of a sudden, our conversation became more intimate. He told me how he always found me attractive and had a thing for me. Then I stated the same. After a few minutes of talking, he then found out he didn’t have to work that night. So the whole time, he just spent it with me and my friends.

We all danced and drank. We went outside for a couple smoke breaks. And I ended up spilling wine on my shirt, so he lent me one of his. My friends and I just spent most of our time by my friend’s car just smoking and drinking wine. It was fun.

Christian had his arm around me most of the time, and I did the same. In the moment, I did find him attractive, but later found out it really just was a bust.

Eventually, I was getting too drunk and too tired. So, I went to my car (which was parked right next to my friend’s) and laid in the backseat. Christian sat in the back with me. While I propped my legs on his lap, he then started caressing my legs.

I thought in my head, “If I feel strongly about this guy, he will be able to make me cum.” Because that’s something I’ve been having difficulties with. Climaxing with another person during sexual activity. So, after some time of rubbing, I unzipped my pants. Took his hand, and guided it downward.

He fingered me.

And guess how I felt?

Blank.

Funny thing is, I did like how something felt against my skin, just wasn’t too fond of it coming from a male. Christian is a great, wonderful person. I just had a moment where I know what I like, and this will never be it.

I was thinking about women the whole time, and I feel kind of ashamed for that.

Anyway, afterwards, I couldn’t drive home, so my friend took me home, and Christian followed just in case. See, he’s sweet? Just not my bowl of sugar.

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